GETTING PASS THE PAST

I thought you were my forever I thought nothing could go wrong
Things took a turn now I can't let it go and it's so hard to be strong
I thought you'd be my ride or die and always have my back
It seems I was wrong now I'm left alone on the track 
I'm so surprised cause I really thought you were down
It's just so hard not having you around 
I still would do anything to get you by my side
Without you I just feel so dead inside 
I really hope one day you'll come my way again 
Even through the struggles I'd stick with you to the end
But that was the past and I got over you in time 
So don't come back after you've left me behind
Don't forget the way you treated me and the words so unkind
I've forgotten you basically to your image I'm blind
Used to be so hard but now I'm doing just fine 
Used to miss you so much was under so much stress
All the feelings are gone cause now I'm emotionless
Things done changed and I'm not the same me as before
Don't come back cause when you decided to leave you were sure
Don't come back with your darkness because I've discovered my light 
It was like hell without you but now I'm feeling alright 
5/1/19

SAD AFTERMATH

It's like a knife everyday it sinks a little deeper
The longer I'm away the more I realize I need her
It's like I'm lost and I can''t find my keeper 
On a strange road and I've lost sight of the leader
There's only one thing that can get rid of all this pain
Doesn't seem like I'll ever get it and it's driving me insane
There's nothing I can do to get her off my brain 
She's my only cure all I need like an addict of weed or cocaine
Easy during the day but it gets really hard at night 
Alone in the darkness but she's my only source of light
Don't know how to go on now that she's out of my life
Hits like a bullet hurts more than the stab of a knife
Not having her just makes my mind stray so far away
It becomes harder to cope with everyday
To get her back in my life I'll do whatever it takes
I just hope that she'll forgive me for my past mistakes
It's impossible to not do anything wrong 
I just wish we could be together holding strong
But it seems I won't get what I desire 
I'm so cold but she's the only one that can light my fire
24/9/18

LIFE STRUGGLES

I'll be writing writing writing all day 
Hoping that magically this pain will go away 
Nothing seems to help not even when I get on my knees and pray 
No matter what I do the pain still decides to stay 
Sometimes I wonder if I'm stuck with a curse 
Instead of getting better it keeps getting worse
To me life is just this big game
I never level up no matter what I do I just stay the same 
We all have that common enemy we call the devil 
What makes it challenging he's harder to beat with every level
Nothing seems to work I even try to change the technique 
But I've come to realise just because you're not winning doesn't mean you're weak
Sometimes I wonder have I fallen to deep 
So much on my mind it's so hard to even get sleep
It gets so hard sometimes all I can do is weep
It's so confusing why is happiness so hard to keep
Lost in my thoughts happiness no longer seems real 
I've gotten so numb it's something I can't even feel
20/8/18

ALONE TIME

Got a whole lot on my mind and it's messing up my brain
Smiling with the stars talking to the moon I must be going insane
Family and  friends switched everyone is gone
They're so carefree and I just can't move on
Well now I know to love or trust a soul
At any given minute they can just get up and leave so cold
I won't lie it's really so hard being alone
Pretty hard not having someone to call my own
Sometimes I wonder if this is just how it was meant to be
Trying to erase the past but it's stuck in my history 
Stressing over them but they aren't thinking about me
So hard to explain sometimes inside I feel so empty
I don't know why I keep telling myself I don't care
Deep down I'd be so happy if they were still here 
Either way I just continue fooling myself I'm good
If I could get things back to normal without hesitation I would
Looking forward but the sunny days seem so far away
I guess I'll just keep facing these storms everyday
20/09/18