TRUST ISSUES

Since lately I think there’s been too much on my mind

Deep thoughts have been getting all of my time

My mind is poisoned and I can’t seem to find a cure

Will I ever get better I’m not even sure

People switch up so easily just like candy crush

Good this minute next minute they break the trust

But that’s just life can’t really have faith in anyone

Here this minute next minute they’re gone

Just leaving you with a really heavy weight to carry

They move on so easily and don’t even seem to be sorry

Sometimes I really wonder what’s my worth

No matter how hard I try I still end up getting hurt

Nowadays I’m just so cold inside

Like all the love in me suddenly died

I’m trying to move on but I can’t seem to learn

No matter what I always decide to return

Everytime I’ve healed I go back for the burn

Nothing can help not even an intern

Can’t find someone to really have a conversation

Can’t carry on without some motivation

But I can’t trust no one based off my observation

Lost in this big world what’s the point of my creation

20/11/18

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SAD AFTERMATH

It's like a knife everyday it sinks a little deeper
The longer I'm away the more I realize I need her
It's like I'm lost and I can''t find my keeper 
On a strange road and I've lost sight of the leader
There's only one thing that can get rid of all this pain
Doesn't seem like I'll ever get it and it's driving me insane
There's nothing I can do to get her off my brain 
She's my only cure all I need like an addict of weed or cocaine
Easy during the day but it gets really hard at night 
Alone in the darkness but she's my only source of light
Don't know how to go on now that she's out of my life
Hits like a bullet hurts more than the stab of a knife
Not having her just makes my mind stray so far away
It becomes harder to cope with everyday
To get her back in my life I'll do whatever it takes
I just hope that she'll forgive me for my past mistakes
It's impossible to not do anything wrong 
I just wish we could be together holding strong
But it seems I won't get what I desire 
I'm so cold but she's the only one that can light my fire
24/9/18

LIFE STRUGGLES

I'll be writing writing writing all day 
Hoping that magically this pain will go away 
Nothing seems to help not even when I get on my knees and pray 
No matter what I do the pain still decides to stay 
Sometimes I wonder if I'm stuck with a curse 
Instead of getting better it keeps getting worse
To me life is just this big game
I never level up no matter what I do I just stay the same 
We all have that common enemy we call the devil 
What makes it challenging he's harder to beat with every level
Nothing seems to work I even try to change the technique 
But I've come to realise just because you're not winning doesn't mean you're weak
Sometimes I wonder have I fallen to deep 
So much on my mind it's so hard to even get sleep
It gets so hard sometimes all I can do is weep
It's so confusing why is happiness so hard to keep
Lost in my thoughts happiness no longer seems real 
I've gotten so numb it's something I can't even feel
20/8/18

ALONE TIME

Got a whole lot on my mind and it's messing up my brain
Smiling with the stars talking to the moon I must be going insane
Family and  friends switched everyone is gone
They're so carefree and I just can't move on
Well now I know to love or trust a soul
At any given minute they can just get up and leave so cold
I won't lie it's really so hard being alone
Pretty hard not having someone to call my own
Sometimes I wonder if this is just how it was meant to be
Trying to erase the past but it's stuck in my history 
Stressing over them but they aren't thinking about me
So hard to explain sometimes inside I feel so empty
I don't know why I keep telling myself I don't care
Deep down I'd be so happy if they were still here 
Either way I just continue fooling myself I'm good
If I could get things back to normal without hesitation I would
Looking forward but the sunny days seem so far away
I guess I'll just keep facing these storms everyday
20/09/18

BEHIND THE EYES

To be honest I haven't had these feelings for a while
But whenever I see you I hold back my smile 
I so easily submit to your demands I feel like a helpless child
You keep me so tame even though sometimes I might be wild
I try to avoid these situations but i feel like taking the chance with you
I'm not always optimistic but I see a future with us two 
If by any chance this could happen it would surely be a dream come true
But should I really keep my hopes up I have no clue 
I won't lie I love it when you're around 
You're like my new high when I'm with you I can't feel down
Your cute face oh my when I see your smile my heart melts away 
Deep down I feel so lonely if I don't see you one day 
I've really been thinking and you're the one I want by my side
What I really want to know is if you're down for the ride 
Falling in love that's something I really fear 
I don't know what it is but with you I don't really care 
I don't require much just something that'll last 
Even though Imay be haunted by events in the past 
I'll give you my all everything I can 
Just promise me by my side is where you'll always stand 
I'll be here to support  and help you when times get rough 
With any obstacles we might face try your best to be tough 
Right now you're all I want and you're more than enough
29/11/18

	

The Journey Begins

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton

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All this anger stored up I'm just filled with this rage 
Just the result of having all these feelings stored in  a cage 
Stuck in the book of life and I'm trying to find a new page
But I won't lie it gets harder with every new stage
It's like my life hit a rock and just stumbled
One thing went wrong now everything is jumbled
I try to move on and leave everything behind
But until everything is fixed it'll always be on my mind
I won't make it evident I'll be sure to always seem fine
Stuck in a world of darkness and I can't find the sunshine 
Still gonna try my best to reach the broken dream 
Still gonna push on through no matter how hard it may seem
But I won't lie sometime it gets really tough
Feel like giving up felt like I've had enough
In a confused state and I don't know the right choice 
I just want an actual reason to rejoice
I've already given up lost all hope 
But somehow I'm finding ways to cope
4/12/18